She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
