ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
