I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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