have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
