i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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