I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Im part way to drunk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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