No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
