So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize