giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize