I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
