If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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