I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
