Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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