she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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