dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
