she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize