I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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