Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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