I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
