Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
