I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
