Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
