You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
