You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
