Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So many bounce houses so little time
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Mom said you looked used
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
