brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
