oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
