i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
