He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
