I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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