And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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