You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize