I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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