she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
