Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
