I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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