I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
