My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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