i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
