you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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