i jhust puked up my retainher.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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