you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
