If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
