Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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