I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize