Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
