Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
