well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
