My Higher Power is John Stamos
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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