i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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