People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
