Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
