i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
