oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
