i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize