8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Duck Duck Cougar?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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