see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
