Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
