I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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