Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My life is pants optional.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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