I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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