I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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