i don't like sucking hair
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
