my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
