See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize